Turkeys make good weapons (one-shot)
by vala411
Summary: (Thanksgiving fic) The turkeys are loose! The turkeys are loose! Hide!


**AN: Hello everybody! Happy Thanksgiving :) Here is a little one-shot for you all.**

It was a morning like any other in Berk. Terrible Terrors were singing from the rooftops as the sun slowly crept up the horizon. That was until a resounding ' _BOOM_ ' rocked the entire island.

Hiccup who was also still in bed fell out of it with a ' _Thunk_ ', while Toothless who was hanging upside from a beam woke up with a jolt and let out roar as he fell.

"You alright there bud?" Hiccup asked as he rubbed his sore side only to see Toothless upside down balanced on his head, not looking particularly happy.

Toothless got on his paws and grumbled but followed Hiccup down the stairs. They went outside and Hiccup could hear his father yelling from the village square.

Hiccup and Toothless approached Stoick who looked red in the face.

"What's going on dad?" Hiccup asked.

"I'll tell ya what's going on son. Those damn twins let all the turkeys for tonight's celebration escape!" Stoick said irritated as he glared at the twins who were hiding behind their dragon.

"We just wanted to help cook them!" Ruffnut commented.

"YA BLEW UP THE ENTIRE BARN WHERE THEY WERE KEPT!" Stoick shouted at the twins while pointing to the area which still had black smoke coming from it.

"Hiccup, gather the other riders. We'll need every able body to round up those birds before tonight." His dad ordered and Hiccup and Toothless went to get the others.

It wasn't long before everyone was assembled at the village center and the search areas were selected. The riders spend most of the day chasing those portly feathered birds who were surprisingly agile.

It was afternoon when the riders finally took a break. Astrid was busy sharpening her axe while muttering about demon-birds, Snotlout faceplanted into the ground covered in bruises and scratches while Fishlegs was covered in feathers and shuddered as he threw the last turkey he caught in cage. The twins had been sent by Stoick to repair the barn so that they'd be kept far away from the new turkey area.

Hiccup was busy counting the birds as Toothless snarled at one who had the audacity to challenge him.

"Guys we're two birds short." Hiccup mentioned coming to sit next to Astrid who with the help from Stormfly was plucking twigs out of her hair.

The gang all let out groans at that information.

"Can't we ignore those two birds?" Snotlout pleaded.

"No we can't. You know dad will double check everything." Hiccup stated. "We'll split up again and meet back here in an hour."

So the gang slit up. Astrid this time chose to search the docks, while Snotlout headed into the woods. Fishlegs searched the cliffs as other Vikings were searching the village itself. Hiccup had a hunch and made Toothless fly up to Gothi's hut.

Crashes could be heard from inside and when Hiccup opened the door he saw Gothi chasing one of the missing turkeys with her staff. The bird crashed into nearly everything and when Hiccup opened the door it saw an opportunity to escape.

Toothless who was now used to these feathered menaces, managed to grab the fleeing turkey in his maw. Toothless then trotted into the hut with the squirming bird looking smug.

"Great going bud." Hiccup said as he took the bird and shoved it into a sack and gave Toothless a good scratch.

But the chaos the bird caused in the hut was great and one of Gothi's bottles stood at the edge of a shelf and fell down on Toothless.

Toothless was then covered with a purple powder and began to panic. Slowly the Night Fury began to shrink until he looked like a hatchling.

"Oh Thor." Hiccup said as Gothi facepalmed.

Toothless now looking up at Hiccup freaked out.

Gothi scribbled some symbols in the sand telling Hiccup that the change would only last for two hours. Hiccup then picked up his freaked out friend and held him at arm's length examining him.

"So Cute!" Hiccup exclaimed then but Toothless wasn't amused and sent a plasma blast at Hiccup. Only the plasma blast never reached its target. It fizzled out just after leaving Toothless' maw. Toothless was definitely not amused.

Hiccup bid good day to Gothi, promising to help her clean up after they had all the turkeys. Hiccup set out towards the villiage going down the winding steps in the mountain with a turkey in a sack over one shoulder and a sulking Night Fury 'hatchling' perched on his head.

When Hiccup reached the turkey cage he saw that the others had already arrived. Astrid was wet and looked ready to kill, while Fishlegs was busy taking out nettle barbs from a squirming Snotlout.

"Do I want to know?" Hiccup asked depositing his turkey in the cage.

"That turkey is worse than the rest!" Snotlout yelled and then yelped as Fishlegs plucked another barb.

"Snotlout chased the damn bird all the way to the docks where it caused him to collide with me." Astrid muttered. "Then it had the audacity to run away. When I get my hands on that bird!"

Astrid then noticed the tiny Toothless and asked "What in the nine realms happened to Toothless?!"

The war horn blew before Hiccup could say anything and the gang made their way towards the beaches where they saw that Dagur and his men had landed.

"Today I, Dagur the Deranged, shall conquer the Hooligans!" Dagur shouted boldly as the Berserkers and Hooligans gathered on the beach. It was a standoff but before Dagur could give the signal to attack everyone's attention was on the odd sight before them.

There between them on the beach that was to be a battlefield waddled a turkey without a care in the world.

"Eh…" Was all Dagur could say at the sight.

Hiccup then got an idea and with a smirk approached the Berserkers. "Dagur so happy to see you on this day of thanks." Hiccup simply stated getting the other's attention. "We were expecting you."

"We were?" The twins as well as some villagers questioned just as Dagur asked "You were?"

"Why yes." Hiccup said and then made a grand gesture to the turkey who had stopped to peck at the ground. "That is why we've prepared this wondrous turkey to give you as a goodwill gesture. It is the fattest of our stock." Hiccup boasted.

"I see." Dagur said. "Thank you."

"Men grab the turkey and we shall depart." Dagur ordered to the men.

"But sir." One of the men interjected. "Weren't we going to conquer the Hooligans?"

"Are you questioning me!" Dagur shouted. "There will be no conquering today. I had forgotten what today was and the Hooligans went to the trouble of giving a gift. The least we could do is not attack them."

Dagur headed back to his ship with men and turkey in tow. While the Hooligans watched the scene open-mouthed.

"What the hell just happened?!" Snotlout shouted as the Berserkers had departed. "Hiccup how did you know that would work?"

"Dagur's deranged." Hiccup simply stated as a wicked smirk made its way on his face. "Normal logic wouldn't have worked. Besides I don't think they'll be attacking us anytime soon."

 **Meanwhile with the Berserkers…**

On the lead ship shouts and men scrambling on deck could be heard.

Dagur slammed the door open and shouted "WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON!"

Some of the Berserkers were cowering in a corner. "The turkey is loose!" One explained just as one of the Berserkers fired a catapult onto the deck of the ship where the turkey stood.

The rock punctured a hole in the ship and water began pouring in.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Dagur shouted incensed.

-The End-


End file.
